Mood:
sharpTopic: peace
Jarrah Keenan doing a stint in South Korea as an English teacher forwards this amusing, disturbing satire of George W Bush (who I must say closely resembles a 'defeated' presidential candidate Ritchie character in the West Wing tv series (4th Season, #6 "Game On" broadcast October 30 2002).
Hard to make funny of such a terrible situation, but then humour sometimes can be so profound as to the truth of the world. Over to Mr Average American here:
Dear Mr. President: Send Even MORE Troops (and you go, too!) ...from Michael
Moore
1/10/07
Dear Mr. President,
Thanks for your address to the nation. It's good to know you still want to
talk to us after how we behaved in November.
Listen, can I be frank? Sending in 20,000 more troops just ain't gonna do
the job. That will only bring the troop level back up to what it was last
year. And we were losing the war last year! We've already had over a million
troops serve some time in Iraq since 2003. Another few thousand is simply
not enough to find those weapons of mass destruction! Er, I mean... bringing
those responsible for 9/11 to justice! Um, scratch that. Try this -- BRING
DEMOCRACY TO THE MIDDLE EAST! YES!!!
You've got to show some courage, dude! You've got to win this one! C'mon,
you got Saddam! You hung 'im high! I loved watching the video of that --
just like the old wild west! The bad guy wore black! The hangmen were as
crazy as the hangee! Lynch mobs rule!!!
Look, I have to admit I feel very sorry for the predicament you're in. As
Ricky Bobby said, "If you're not first, you're last." And you being
humiliated in front of the whole world does NONE of us Americans any good.
Sir, listen to me. You have to send in MILLIONS of troops to Iraq, not
thousands! The only way to lick this thing now is to flood Iraq with
millions of us! I know that you're out of combat-ready soldiers -- so you
have to look elsewhere! The only way you are going to beat a nation of 27
million -- Iraq -- is to send in at least 28 million! Here's how it would
work:
The first 27 million Americans go in and kill one Iraqi each. That will
quickly take care of any insurgency. The other one million of us will stay
and rebuild the country. Simple.
Now, I know you're saying, where will I find 28 million Americans to go to
Iraq? Here are some suggestions:
1. More than 62,000,000 Americans voted for you in the last election (the
one that took place a year and half into a war we already knew we were
losing). I am confident that at least a third of them would want to put
their body where there vote was and sign up to volunteer. I know many of
these people and, while we may disagree politically, I know that they don't
believe someone else should have to go and fight their fight for them --
while they hide here in America.
2. Start a "Kill an Iraqi" Meet-Up group in cities across the country. I
know this idea is so early-21st century, but I once went to a Lou Dobbs
Meet-Up and, I swear, some of the best ideas happen after the third mojito.
I'm sure you'll get another five million or so enlistees from this effort.
3. Send over all members of the mainstream media. After all, they were your
collaborators in bringing us this war -- and many of them are already
trained from having been "embedded!" If that doesn't bring the total to 28
million, then draft all viewers of the FOX News channel.
Mr. Bush, do not give up! Now is not the time to pull your punch! Don't be a
weenie by sending in a few over-tired troops. Get your people behind you and
YOU lead them in like a true commander in chief! Leave no conservative
behind! Full speed ahead!
We promise to write. Go get 'em W!
Yours,
Michael Moore
http://www.michaelmoore.com/
